Parenting Judgement

PARENTING JUDGEMENT

Michael Lock is co-author, with Bob Wheeler, of the currently unpublished Parenting Judgement Indicator (PJI). Both authors, although now retired, are clear about their continuing purpose: to ensure that the thinking embedded in this work is not lost. Their intention is to place this framework into the shared pool of understanding about parenting, where it can be examined, used, and developed by others. They hold that the PJI addresses a persistent gap in how parenting is discussed, offering a way of thinking about everyday decisions that is properly inclusive and compassionate, while remaining unequivocal about boundaries, responsibility, and the legitimate use of parental authority.

Parenting inevitably involves wielding real authority. The PJI is designed to strengthen the discernment with which that authority is used, by encouraging reflective judgement: noticing what is driving a decision, testing whether it is proportionate and fair, and considering how choices land with different members of the household. Used in an open-minded, child-centred spirit, it can support parents and carers to build everyday decision-making habits that are both humane and effective.

The resources on this site are provided for developmental and educational purposes. They are intended to support reflection, learning, and constructive dialogue, not to provide professional, clinical, legal, or safeguarding advice. You remain fully responsible for how you interpret and apply any material, and for any decisions you make as a result.

If you choose to experiment with these tools, you will be on firmer footing when your motivation is grounded in a child-centred stance: approaching children with empathic understanding, congruence (genuineness and transparency), and unconditional love for the child, while still holding clear boundaries around behaviour. This orientation is inherently collaborative. It seeks to understand before it seeks to influence, and it privileges dignity, autonomy, and growth over winning an argument or asserting authority.

Where a situation involves risk of harm, acute distress, or complex needs, it is wise to seek support from appropriately qualified professionals and local services.